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“close enough”— anyone who’s ever tried to even out their eyeliner. (via eatyourpie)
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Bunny and Mamo-chan
“You still have my ribbon.” Her voice was soft- careful sounding.
“Yes.”
“How do you have a piece of the headband?” This time her voice sounded strained.
Chuck however said nothing in reply. It was enough that she knew he had some part of it, not that he had gone after Serena to ensure every piece was recovered afterwards.
Her voice was very clearly strained, almost panicked, when she spoke next, turning to face him, “Why do you have this?”
He glanced sideways at her. “You know why, Blair.”
She touched his arm, gesturing to his keepsake box. “I don’t understand what this case is, Chuck.”
Keeping his eyes on the box, he was able to answer her. “It’s my life. You see what is inside. Serena and Nate, a little piece of my mother, my parents, my successes, my joys, my favorite memories.”
Now. Now he looked at her.
“Why would you be so surprised to see yourself there?”
It was all too much, and Blair’s heart ached while her mind struggled to understand. The reeling emotions let an unadulterated tear effortlessly escape her lashes.
“Because you can’t forgive me.”
Chuck reached up, briefly cupping her face, and brushed the tear from her cheek. “I couldn’t last night. But… You haven’t asked me today?”
I was tempted to turn off anonymous reviews on Fanfiction.net tonight. And then I decided not to.
I want people to see what happens, so if I turn it off, I’m stopping people from getting to be themselves, even behind the veil of anonymity. There are times I need to let off steam and be upset about things, and I trust there is a safe place I can go to do that, over the phone, a cup of coffee, or over the internet.
But that being said, I don’t seek to hurt anyone in the process. I don’t hide what I’m saying with terms like “constructive criticism”. And I hope I maintain some level of perspective, like that persons sense of responsibility to a job, as a parent, or as a member of an organization.
Fan fiction though? I can’t understand people going after fan fiction. I’m sorry, I can’t. There are people behind all of these stories, spending hours writing something to the best of their ability and resources, and you what? Have a problem with that? It’s not constructive criticism if it’s anonymous. I’m sure someone could prove that wrong, but as a general rule, an anonymous review means you have no intention of initiating a conversation, gaining an author’s trust and respect (something needed to honestly hear true constructive criticism), or building a relationship. If you want to share your opinion, don’t hide it behind niceties and the idea of constructive criticism. I know what actual constructive criticism looks like, so just don’t.
I do not write fan fiction to seek attention. I write fan fiction because I love Gossip Girl, I love Chuck and Blair, and from that, I’ve come to love writing, too. Show me you feel that way and sign your name to it, and then we can talk craft and content.
Otherwise, I suggest you recognize that fan fiction is about community and the freedom to love. If you can’t support an author in the community, close the page and find someone you can. Or better yet, go write something you want to read.
Today I posted the 25th chapter of What Do You Believe In?
While the story is not yet complete, the posting of this chapter does put it in about the same place as Love You Some Day when it was completed. So I’m enjoying seeing these two stories at a place where they can be in some respects comparable.
WDYBI is already several thousand words longer than LYSD. LYSD has a few hundred more reviews, but WDYBI has more story alerts while LYSD maintains more story favorites.
LYSD’s chapter 16 still maintains the highest review rate of any chapter, as well as highest view rate in a single day. But that said, I can hope, in spite of GG’s end, that the few tricks WDYBI still has to pull might contend with LYSD’s little legacy in that sense. We’ll see what you think!
In the end, WDYBI will be a great deal longer and surpass LYSD’s overall reviews.
WDYBI has more fan art associated with it, thanks greatly to kutchu as well as several other wonderful artists. Both stories had videographers flirt with adaptations. Neither story is listed on an FFnet community, though Touch is!
In the end though, they are all my babies and hold special places in my heart for the people and the time they mark in my life.
Thursday morning, the minions were busy with their tasks and Serena was enjoying being in love. She and Nate made a shining, almost sickening scene in the courtyard together. He sat on one of the tabletops while Serena leaned happily into him. Blair still gave the Queen plenty of space, so as she arrived at school, she skirted around them, hiding in the shadows, to avoid any potential confrontations. Her ears were keenly listening for any threats as she edged past their table. But it wasn’t a threat that began to make her ears burn.
“… I love who I am with you, Nate Archibald.”
Blair’s feet slowed to a stop at Serena’s words, causing her to instantly think of Chuck.
“You’ve never made me something I’m not; you’ve only made me stronger, you’ve made me better.”
Blair held her head low as she as she eavesdropped, turning a little to watch as Serena dropped sweet kisses onto Nate’s mouth. She felt her mouth tug into a small smile, a little bit of empathy mixed in with her envy at the sight. Lifting her eyes, she saw Chuck standing across from her, on the other side of the courtyard. That tiny smile gave up its hope as she stared at him. All she could think was why isn’t that us?
Chuck pulled back into his shadows, breaking their gaze. He felt the pain of it shooting through his heart. That should be us. Oh, her face… He saw what he felt inside reflected on her face. Soon. So very soon.
This screencap is why you won’t find my fan fiction in Kindle Worlds. I don’t have to ask myself the questions about what this crack into a new market means for me. I’ve said for a long time fan fiction is a broken market. I think it will be interesting to see what this will do for fan fiction. I don’t think it’s going to ruin anything. I think it will bring new readers and new writers, and that shouldn’t been seen as a bad thing, especially in a “dying” fandom like Gossip Girl. I think Amazon is going to have some interesting challenges to work out as they navigate this fledgling market. If they should try to pull writer’s with content on fan fiction sites, I would be curious to learn how they will prove authenticity beyond the ability to simply remove the story from where it is published. Overall, I think we’ll find that there won’t be much transference of content into Kindle Worlds, but that it will be freshly generated.
Regarding the guidelines, I think for fandoms like PLL and GG the pornography guideline makes perfect sense. It’s generally not okay for publication to write about young adults having sex because of social norms and varying ages of consent.
I find the branding rule a little funny, as Gossip Girl’s novels were branded heavily.
Crossover/copyright. They don’t own all the things, naturally. But this makes it hard because fan fiction can be heavily steeped in pop culture references.
I think a lot of fanfiction that is ‘true’ fanfiction in this sense will stay where it is, and there will always be a want, a place for this kind of writing. There should be a place to begin, a place where you can give that idea flight. Kindle Worlds is simply giving great writers who are great fans a place to enter the marketplace. Don’t be afraid, don’t hate it, but let’s be smart about it, too. I’m curious to see what will come.
For those of you who found the hidden teaser, I thought you might like to see the fashion (:cough: if you want to call it that?) that helped me write the scene. See, it matches her dress ^_^
Chuck’s displeasure burned in his eyes, “What are you trying to do?”
Blair held cool, “Be polite and sociable. I’m being the absolute personification of a perfect society princess. Isn’t that what you had asked of me? And I wouldn’t want to shame you or Diane by being rude.”
“That’s why you let those boys have their hands all over you?”
“Oh, you mean dancing? It was all perfectly innocent!” Blair felt her frustration with him rising, “Then again, I suppose I don’t understand what dancing can do to a man. Plenty of us saw you going off with your variety of ‘friends’ after rehearsals. What do you suppose they made of that?”
“Whatever it was, it was still private. But you,” Chuck seethed, the full force of having to watch her with other men bright in his mind, “laughing and flirting, happily wrapped up in another man’s arms. What are you trying to reach for? Do you think they can give you want you want?”
Blair hadn’t wanted to think of that. Finding her first love with someone else. Would she have to? “Maybe they can!” She bit back hard; wasn’t it what he wanted? “Instead of endlessly repenting my sins and hoping for the devil’s absolution.”
It was faster than the champagne bubbles would let her process. His body had pinned hers to the wall and he was kissing her hard. She lifted her hands to his hair, her mind swimming in the sensation of him. His hands had roamed up to her breasts, cupping them, squeezing them, as he opened his mouth to her. She panted, arching into him more, kissing him back feverishly. Her mind told her to never let it end as she felt the aching grow low in her stomach.
For Mary & her Birthday one-shot “End Up”
She said she googled a number of images, wanting to see them. So I thought I would collect some here, for the curious!
Photo 1: Yale University, Old Campus. There isn’t one specific bench under one specific tree I knew of that I wrote into the story. But if you launch into the panoramic, you can find a few spots that fit the bill, so pick your favorite ^_^
Photo 2: Monet Water Lilies. Blair’s dress, entirely a figment of my imagination, was designed by her mother while at Giverny, inspired by the water lilies. I’ve never been to France (sad face), but in my teenage years, I had a copy of Cleveland Art Museum’s Water Lily panel, that I could stare at for ages when I visit. I actually used the colors in redesigning my bedroom from ‘girlhood’ to ‘teenager’.
Photo 3: Enid A. Haupt Conservatory (portion), New York Botanical Society. I cannot find a big photo to show the scale or beauty of this conservatory, so it gets a few!
Photo 4: Enid A. Haupt Conservatory (portion), New York Botanical Society. Nighttime, what it would have looked like when Chuck and Blair were arriving.
Photo 5: Enid A. Haupt Conservatory (portion), New York Botanical Society. One of the arms of the conservatory, with one of the outdoor ponds visible.
Photo 6: Enid A. Haupt Conservatory (portion), New York Botanical Society. Aquatic Plants Room.
Walking up the steps to Constance/St. Jude’s, Blair was careful, her eyes scanning, watching for any sign. When she stepped into the front courtyard everyone glanced at her briefly, but no one made real eye contact. Moments later they were all moving indoors and then, she felt it. Looking over her shoulder, the Queen was coming, Nate and the minions in tow, climbing the steps. In the corner of her eye, she caught Chuck standing off to the side, leaning against the wall, watching. He was watching, just like everyone else, waiting.
Prove it.
Blair stepped back.
Into the shadows.
And let the Queen and her people pass by. None of them looked at her.
Suddenly it was her freshman year all over again only infinitely worse. No friends, no Chuck, no one. There was a little relief. At least it appeared Serena wasn’t going to make her life hell.
Except.
When she got to her locker, it was open.
Her books on the ground. Her pictures torn out and ripped to pieces. The warning bell for classes rang and as her fellow students walked by, no one stopped to help. In fact, some nearly stepped on her as she tried to pick up her things, some kicked her books across the hall, most acted disgusted by the inconvenience of her. By the time she had cleaned up the mess and rushed to her first class, she already felt bedraggled and spent.
It was the longest day of her life. How was it school could be this awful? Being jostled in the hallways, eating alone at lunch, the discomfort of sitting in class- people ignoring her or when they whispered, was it about her? She couldn’t leave school fast enough when it finally ended.
Chapter twenty-three teaser for What Do You Believe In? with artwork by the amazing kutchu.
- megamitenchi
- breakfastatharrywinston
- varietyofwords
:D This past week feels like Christmas. Did someone move Christmas and not tell me? THANK YOU!!!!!
Review Reply
Forgive the odd post! But I have no other way to reply to this review- and it rather needs a reply, in the best way. So unless you are a hardcore fan of What Do You Believe In? feel free to scroll on past.
Firstly, Ms. CarolinaGirl, I have to thank you. I got a couple negative reviews yesterday. Nothing compared to being flamed, honestly, but I’m not at a good place with my life right now, and they hit me hard. I was laying bed trying to sleep when your review arrived in my inbox. I was hurting, my brain wouldn’t stop spinning so that I might rest; I felt awful. Then, thank heavens, I got to read this review. And it calmed my heart.
What really knocked me over is how well you read this chapter in the context of the rest of the story. Not to say others don’t, but the things you wrote here really made me feel like, “Okay, maybe I didn’t completely miss the mark.” Your question about “their Blair” is perfect. It’s a question mirrored in chapter ten, when Blair realizes she doesn’t know what a healthy relationship looks like. In twenty-two, Chuck does say what he is essentially going to be looking for: “It doesn’t mean you’re a whole person again, it doesn’t mean you have respect for anyone, and it certainly doesn’t mean you are capable of love or know how to be happy.” As for ‘punishing’ her, I worry about that world a little. It implies too much activity, too much thought. I don’t want to spoil things too much, but for the most part, it’s merely letting things run a natural course and/or picking a path and walking it. Things that happen in the next chapter will likely be rough on the readers. But then again, we’ve (most O_o I’m not going to think about that…) have lived through high school, so I’m thinking the shock will really just be seeing these things in a Gossip Girl story.
Carter… yeah, I have to trust you can empathize with how low Blair was in those moments. If you go back and read her in the bathroom before Chuck shows up in Paris, you can see and feel it all a little. Beyond that, I hope the readers can trust me in that it plays a balancing role later, aside from being Blair’s low point, and trying to prove in another way that Chuck meant nothing to her.
Ah, the list! Formatting issues aside (Ugh, FFnet!!), I’m glad people are enjoying the list. You’re right that it’s something they both needed, and it was good for the readers too (90,000+ words and counting…). The hope, as the chapter title implies, was important to thread throughout. It’s begun to flutter a little for them both- at last. Chuck is an absolute mess though, and he’s going to break our hearts for a little while longer. Nate and Serena? It’s an interesting role that’s laced in in different ways. As to playing out… I can’t tell you something I haven’t completely settled on yet -_^ And your comment about B learning of her downfall… I have to give you profuse thanks for that one little sentence. It actually was the trigger to creating an entire future scene!
Favorite lines? I like how there wasn’t just one! Props to you for even trying, heh, I don’t think I could do it!
The teasing and the clothes- easily my two favorite things about these characters :) And then… you really got me. It’s easy to get excited, knowing this is a CB story and there’s a happy ending and they’ll be in loooove. I want my readers to be excited for that point! But we’re a ways from that right now, and I love that you see that Blair as a person isn’t ready to love. She’s only just begun to think about it, and she’s testing the ground, seeing what happens with these thoughts and questions in her mind. And I love that you are bringing that into your reading. She is looking for happiness, too, we saw that when she danced with Chuck. And Chuck is watching her, to see if she’s trying to find it. Chuck… I think he knows that about Blair, that she was scared of a relationship, of love, but dealing with himself has never been his strong suit. And a little chuckle… funny that you should mention Chuck forgiving Blair. Just remember that a few chapters from now, okay? ^_^
As for your last speculation? That’s what we’ll get to see in the next chapter. But until then… Just know that you really helped to save me from the darkness. xoxo ~K
Bad Girl Blair.
I searched high and low for something fun for Blair to wear in bed in chapter twenty-two of What Do You Believe In? Something that didn’t scream sex, something that was innocent but still trouble. And I found this! I thought blue worked best all things given, and of course, our girl isn’t wearing a bra under her shirt. Poor Chuck :)
Found via Google Image Search, unknown photo shoot with Eva Mendes.
He heard the light rustling of silk before her heels happily clicked down the stairs. Fashion always made Blair happy and from the sound of her footfall, tonights ensemble was giving her a respite from her exiled state. When she finally whirled around the staircase and into his view, the image of her gave Chuck’s heart a respite from the darkness.
Blair was all pale skin and beautifully matched violet, embroidered flowers reached up to cover her chest before disappearing under the tightly wrapped silk about her waist. He imagined how his hands would feel wrapped around her waist, holding her close, the feel of that cool purple silk under his fingers… She turned more down the spiral stairs, watching her flowing skirt, still unaware of him. He could see the rest of her dress now, the wave of soft violet silk billowed out behind her as she descended the stairs, and with a bit of sass and the flick of her wrist, she tossed a little more fabric aside, revealing a dangerously high slit in the fabric, exposing her left leg… all the way up her thigh. The daring slice in the fabric would have stayed hidden if not provoked. But Blair was enjoying her stunning dress with its dangerous little secret.
She continued to watch her feet until she had reached the last step. With a sweet, innocent smile, she looked up- at him. The smile instantly dropped, the fabric of her dress appearing to mimic her change in mood as the billowing skirt lost its wind and with a sigh, dropped to death against her body. She froze there, waiting to hear what he was doing here. After a beat, she raised her eyebrow, egging him on.
“You’re coming home.”
What Do You Believe In? Chapter Twenty-Two: ενα πετάρισμα της ελπίδας
She lowered her head, uttering a soft, “I’m sorry.”
“Saying I’m sorry won’t fix anything and God only knows when I will forgive you for how you strung me along.”
Her head snapped back up, her gaze fixed on him, “But I’m not Queen anymore!”
“So? You’re not blind and stubborn anymore. No one will fall to their knees for you and you can’t push people around. That’s all that means. It doesn’t mean you’re a whole person again, it doesn’t mean you have respect for anyone, and it certainly doesn’t mean you are capable of love or know how to be happy.” He cut to his point.
Blair felt the sting of his words, the best reply she could grab she threw back at him, “And you do?”
Her reply struck a chord and he could take no more. He stood and took her chin in the palm of his hand, tilting her head back and stared deep into her eyes, “I did, once.”
He dropped his hand and walked away.
The purple dress mentioned in chapters 21 and 22 of What Do You Believe In? From the Zuhair Murad 2013 collection.
