Dynamic: Forget the Box

“You still have my ribbon.” Her voice was soft- careful sounding. 

“Yes.” 

“How do you have a piece of the headband?” This time her voice sounded strained. 

Chuck however said nothing in reply. It was enough that she knew he had some part of it, not that he had gone after Serena to ensure every piece was recovered afterwards. 

Her voice was very clearly strained, almost panicked, when she spoke next, turning to face him, “Why do you have this?” 

He glanced sideways at her. “You know why, Blair.” 

She touched his arm, gesturing to his keepsake box. “I don’t understand what this case is, Chuck.” 

Keeping his eyes on the box, he was able to answer her. “It’s my life. You see what is inside. Serena and Nate, a little piece of my mother, my parents, my successes, my joys, my favorite memories.”

Now. Now he looked at her. 

“Why would you be so surprised to see yourself there?” 

It was all too much, and Blair’s heart ached while her mind struggled to understand. The reeling emotions let an unadulterated tear effortlessly escape her lashes.

“Because you can’t forgive me.” 

Chuck reached up, briefly cupping her face, and brushed the tear from her cheek. “I couldn’t last night. But… You haven’t asked me today?” 

I was tempted to turn off anonymous reviews on Fanfiction.net tonight. And then I decided not to. 

I want people to see what happens, so if I turn it off, I’m stopping people from getting to be themselves, even behind the veil of anonymity. There are times I need to let off steam and be upset about things, and I trust there is a safe place I can go to do that, over the phone, a cup of coffee, or over the internet. 

But that being said, I don’t seek to hurt anyone in the process. I don’t hide what I’m saying with terms like “constructive criticism”. And I hope I maintain some level of perspective, like that persons sense of responsibility to a job, as a parent, or as a member of an organization. 

Fan fiction though? I can’t understand people going after fan fiction. I’m sorry, I can’t. There are people behind all of these stories, spending hours writing something to the best of their ability and resources, and you what? Have a problem with that? It’s not constructive criticism if it’s anonymous. I’m sure someone could prove that wrong, but as a general rule, an anonymous review means you have no intention of initiating a conversation, gaining an author’s trust and respect (something needed to honestly hear true constructive criticism), or building a relationship. If you want to share your opinion, don’t hide it behind niceties and the idea of constructive criticism. I know what actual constructive criticism looks like, so just don’t.

I do not write fan fiction to seek attention. I write fan fiction because I love Gossip Girl, I love Chuck and Blair, and from that, I’ve come to love writing, too. Show me you feel that way and sign your name to it, and then we can talk craft and content. 

Otherwise, I suggest you recognize that fan fiction is about community and the freedom to love. If you can’t support an author in the community, close the page and find someone you can. Or better yet, go write something you want to read. 

Today I posted the 25th chapter of What Do You Believe In? 

While the story is not yet complete, the posting of this chapter does put it in about the same place as Love You Some Day when it was completed. So I’m enjoying seeing these two stories at a place where they can be in some respects comparable.
WDYBI is already several thousand words longer than LYSD. LYSD has a few hundred more reviews, but WDYBI has more story alerts while LYSD maintains more story favorites.
LYSD’s chapter 16 still maintains the highest review rate of any chapter, as well as highest view rate in a single day. But that said, I can hope, in spite of GG’s end, that the few tricks WDYBI still has to pull might contend with LYSD’s little legacy in that sense. We’ll see what you think!
In the end, WDYBI will be a great deal longer and surpass LYSD’s overall reviews. 
WDYBI has more fan art associated with it, thanks greatly to kutchu as well as several other wonderful artists. Both stories had videographers flirt with adaptations. Neither story is listed on an FFnet community, though Touch is! 

In the end though, they are all my babies and hold special places in my heart for the people and the time they mark in my life. 

Thursday morning, the minions were busy with their tasks and Serena was enjoying being in love. She and Nate made a shining, almost sickening scene in the courtyard together. He sat on one of the tabletops while Serena leaned happily into him. Blair still gave the Queen plenty of space, so as she arrived at school, she skirted around them, hiding in the shadows, to avoid any potential confrontations. Her ears were keenly listening for any threats as she edged past their table. But it wasn’t a threat that began to make her ears burn.

“… I love who I am with you, Nate Archibald.” 

Blair’s feet slowed to a stop at Serena’s words, causing her to instantly think of Chuck. 

“You’ve never made me something I’m not; you’ve only made me stronger, you’ve made me better.” 

Blair held her head low as she as she eavesdropped, turning a little to watch as Serena dropped sweet kisses onto Nate’s mouth. She felt her mouth tug into a small smile, a little bit of empathy mixed in with her envy at the sight. Lifting her eyes, she saw Chuck standing across from her, on the other side of the courtyard. That tiny smile gave up its hope as she stared at him. All she could think was why isn’t that us?

Chuck pulled back into his shadows, breaking their gaze. He felt the pain of it shooting through his heart. That should be us. Oh, her face… He saw what he felt inside reflected on her face. Soon. So very soon.

Chuck’s displeasure burned in his eyes, “What are you trying to do?” 

Blair held cool, “Be polite and sociable. I’m being the absolute personification of a perfect society princess. Isn’t that what you had asked of me? And I wouldn’t want to shame you or Diane by being rude.” 

“That’s why you let those boys have their hands all over you?” 

“Oh, you mean dancing? It was all perfectly innocent!” Blair felt her frustration with him rising, “Then again, I suppose I don’t understand what dancing can do to a man. Plenty of us saw you going off with your variety of ‘friends’ after rehearsals. What do you suppose they made of that?” 

“Whatever it was, it was still private. But you,” Chuck seethed, the full force of having to watch her with other men bright in his mind, “laughing and flirting, happily wrapped up in another man’s arms. What are you trying to reach for? Do you think they can give you want you want?” 

Blair hadn’t wanted to think of that. Finding her first love with someone else. Would she have to? “Maybe they can!” She bit back hard; wasn’t it what he wanted? “Instead of endlessly repenting my sins and hoping for the devil’s absolution.” 

It was faster than the champagne bubbles would let her process. His body had pinned hers to the wall and he was kissing her hard. She lifted her hands to his hair, her mind swimming in the sensation of him. His hands had roamed up to her breasts, cupping them, squeezing them, as he opened his mouth to her. She panted, arching into him more, kissing him back feverishly. Her mind told her to never let it end as she felt the aching grow low in her stomach.